Until you become a mother yourself, you have no idea what you are really facing. No one prepares you for the physical, emotional and social challenges that come with this new role.
I knew it would be exhausting - but the force of the individual challenges and the structural hurdles such as a lack of financial security, the difficulty of reconciling family and career and the lack of social recognition of care work hits you hard once you're in the thick of it.
And then there is an even bigger question: what kind of society will my child grow up in? I am very worried about political developments. I grew up in a time when racism was rarely named - and it was hardly possible to place my own experiences in a larger, structural context. Anti-racist struggles have achieved a lot - and yet it is part of my everyday life that a party that fuels exclusion and misanthropy is becoming increasingly popular.
The question is not whether my child will experience racism, but when it will happen. How can I still give her a sense of security and belonging? And what can I give her to help her stay strong without having to become tough?
These thoughts carry both worry and responsibility. But they also give me strength. Because change doesn't happen on its own.
We are part of it - through what we live, demand and pass on. For our children. For a society that can be better than it is today.